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Are you who you want to be?

JenlehrJenlehr Posts: 85Member, Medical Advisory Board ✭✭✭
edited August 7 in Jennifer Lehr

I am always stunned when people don’t want to do the work required to make their lives better; whether it is the learning needed to create a hobby or career, the work of building a better relationship, or the work required to heal our relationship with our body, emotions, and thoughts. 

I often worked with couples with so much unfinished business, with interactions that reveal deep undigested resentments and with the pain of not feeling supported by their partners emotionally. Instead, each partner spends years trying to co-exist, but without the real “ahh” of feeling that they can fully let their guard down and lean into their partner. 

From where I stand, not taking a hand in co-creating our lives is an enormous missed opportunity. What is there to do besides make our lives the best it can be? I’ve always been a seeker. I’ve spent years exploring and integrating aspects of myself. I want happiness and joy, and I know it is an inside job. You can be poor and happy. You can be wealthy and miserable or even suicidal. 

Every moment offers us an opportunity to face it with the best choice we have at that moment. That choice could be finding an attitude of joy, courage, faith, or with a decision to apply ourselves and cultivate a new quality or skill. 

There are many paths to change – YouTubes of Byron Katie, Ester Hicks or SadHguru, to name just a few. We have access to books and workshops, groups, e-learning, and education. We have access to therapy and 12-step programs. WeConcile® Love Happily Ever After helps couples create a better relationship. The list of offerings to a better self is bountiful. These resources are part of the abundance of this time. We have the resources to change ourselves, change our experience of our world, and improve our relationships with both self and ourselves. 

One author that helped me enormously when I was younger was Lucia Capacchione. All of her books are excellent and experiential. If you have any issues with low self-esteem or past abuse, I recommend her book, “Recovery of Your Inner Child.” 

Books by Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D., A.T.R., R.E.A.T.

1.    “Recovery of Your Inner Child” (Learn to embrace and heal your inner child)

2.    “The Creative Journal” (Exploration and emotional expression)

3.    “The Power of Your Other Hand” (Channel wisdom by using your non-dominant hand)

4.    “The Picture of Health” (Healing through artistic expression)

5.    “This Is Your Body Talking” (Our bodies often have healing messages for us) 

What experience of life would you like to change? What do you need to cultivate in yourself to achieve this? Are you ready to step into your courage and move forward towards your hearts desires?

With love,



  • SukyMamaSukyMama Posts: 3Member

    My greatest hurdle is procrastination. What’s weird is I am prompt if the assignment or project is for someone else, but I’ll wait until the last minute if it’s for myself.

    I heard someone once say that procrastination is a byproduct of emotional abuse.......which unfortunately describes my childhood.


  • kaceylangstonkaceylangston Posts: 140Administrator admin

    @SukyMama I have fallen into the procrastination round about far too many times too..@Jenlehr any tips for kicking procrastination out the window? Steps to take when you feel it coming on (because you deff know when it's happening!) and ways to really motivate yourself and feel inspired to get started?

  • JenlehrJenlehr Posts: 85Member, Medical Advisory Board ✭✭✭

    @SukyMama @kaceylangston

    I'm wondering if you don't procrastinate when it is for someone else because you want them to see you in a positive light or like you? Whereas for yourself, you aren't trying to please someone else. Let me know if this seems right.

    I wonder what drives you? What do you want to do? What are you doing instead of what you think you should be doing when you are procrastinating? Do you really want to do that thing that you are procrastinating doing?

    It definitely would be helpful to get a more specific understanding of what kinds of things you procrastinate about, what you do instead and also what different parts of you want to do.

    For example, I want to exercise. But I also want to get a project I'm working on finished. Sometimes I don't exercise when I really should. I get caught in thinking that getting the work done is more urgent. It actually isn't. I'll always have too much to do and if I don't squeeze the exercise in, I won't like how I feel. So I've had to look at what my priorities are, and their importance TO ME.

    Difficult childhoods can cause all kinds of wires to get crossed inside of us. It takes time to sort them out and figure out how to overcome the challenges. Sometimes deep down we don't feel that we deserve to take care of ourselves and do what is best for us.

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